The world is not a wish-granting factory

Today I picked up The fault in our Stars and began reading it from a random page. As I was reading, I imagined myself in the characters’ position, as you do.  I imagined what it would be like to have a disease which kills you not only physically but also mentally. What it would be like to be a Grenade as Hazel puts it in the book.

It would be heart-breaking and scary, no doubt about it. I am not one of those weirdoes who wish to be Hazel Grace because it’s oh so romantic. But I still imagined what I would do if I come to know today that my days are numbered (Which practically speaking, they already are because I am not going to live for an infinite number of days)

And thus began my mental checklist of what I would do and what I should do if I have few months of life left. Midway through this discussion I asked myself, “Why don’t I do these things now? Why do I have to wait for a deadline before I start doing things I want to?”

Continue reading “The world is not a wish-granting factory”

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All in Head

“Of course it is happening inside your head, Harry, but why on earth should that mean that it is not real?”

Imagine there is a person you are not so fond of. Maybe you know them well, maybe not. They get their work done most of the time, probably, but you won’t trust them because, let’s be real.

They, the person themselves, are alright. Very average, on the lower side. Not too good looking, ugly even. Not too bright either. They have done no wrong to you, probably. But there are some people you can’t help but hate.

You dislike them, yes. You despise them.

Why don’t they change already?” is what you think.

Now imagine that this person whom you can’t stand is someone you have to be with. All day, every day. All you can do is grind your teeth and get to work. All day, every day. You are with them. While you are working, enjoying, relaxing. You are forced to live every moment of your existence with the person you hate, a person you can’t trust, a person who makes you uncomfortable.

How long will it be before you give up? Before you snap and can’t take it anymore? What will you do?

Complain? Argue? Run away?

To whom? About what? Where to?

Night and day; Day and night. You have to be with this person.

It’s hard, I know.

Now imagine that this person is you.

The person you loth or the person you have trust issues with. The person you find unbelievably ugly or the person who is good for nothing is you.

What would you do? Where would you go?

When you can’t stand the thought of being you.

You will be anxious and you will be depressed. Without any confidence and alone. Without any sanctuary. Running away from the person you are, the person you don’t want to be.

It’s all in your head.” they might conclude.

Yes, that’s true.

But all the same, it’s too real for me.

All too real and All in the head

 

The Block

My last attempt to write anything here was in September of last year and that piece of writing is untitled and collecting virtual dust in drafts.

I have mentioned my woes with facing blogging blocks on so many occasions before and this has almost become a habit now. To log into WordPress, check stats, check other bloggers and then move on to Pinterest in search of “Inspiration” and “Ideas”.

I have enough of that, I am by no means out of ideas and thoughts which I can put out here and I also have enough time at hand to maintain a steady active blog.

What I am out of are words. I am out of the art of putting my thoughts into words and I am out of the habit of doing so.

I write, I write a lot. But what I write is few pages long answers and assignments and Journals. Nothing that seems to have meaning when it comes down to things that actually matter to me.

For this post, I’ll try my best to keep it away from the abyss of drafts folder and publish it once I run out of thoughts on this topic. Which seems to be soon.

I have made promises of updating regularly and writing frequently to people but not this time. Not today.

Today I promise (more like plead to) myself that I’ll form a habit of doing what matters to me. Writing, Drawing and making notes. Though I would not bore you with the latter.

 

So to all my new subscribers and to people who had once subscribed/followed me but now have forgotten about this blog, I will be back soon.

Hopefully with things which won’t convince you to unfollow me.

So, until then, have a good time.

The Best day of my Life

We don’t think about “The Best day of my Life” very frequently, we probably think more about the “The worst day of my Life” for sure. So when I was asked to write on “The Best day of my Life” (In 500 words) I went “Huh, when was the best day of my life?” I couldn’t think of anything for quite some time and that feeling reminded me of school days when we were asked to write an essay on “My Pet”. I had no pet. I didn’t mean I have no best day, I just couldn’t think of anything!

Continue reading “The Best day of my Life”