The world is not a wish-granting factory

Today I picked up The fault in our Stars and began reading it from a random page. As I was reading, I imagined myself in the characters’ position, as you do.  I imagined what it would be like to have a disease which kills you not only physically but also mentally. What it would be like to be a Grenade as Hazel puts it in the book.

It would be heartbreaking and scary, no doubt about it and I am not one of those weirdos who wish to be Hazel Grace because it’s oh so romantic. But I still imagine what I would do if I come to know today that my days are numbered.

And thus began my mental checklist of what I would do and what I should do if I have few months of life left. Midway through this discussion I asked myself, “Why don’t I do these things now? Why do I have to wait for a deadline before I start doing things I want to?”

Continue reading “The world is not a wish-granting factory”

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All in Head

“Of course it is happening inside your head, Harry, but why on earth should that mean that it is not real?”

Imagine there is a person you are not so fond of. Maybe you know them well, maybe not. They get their work done most of the time, probably, but you won’t trust them because, let’s be real.

They, the person themselves, are alright. Very average, on the lower side. Not too good looking, ugly even. Not too bright either. They have done no wrong to you, probably. But there are some people you can’t help but hate.

You dislike them, yes. You despise them.

Why don’t they change already?” is what you think.

Now imagine that this person whom you can’t stand is someone you have to be with. All day, every day. All you can do is grind your teeth and get to work. All day, every day. You are with them. While you are working, enjoying, relaxing. You are forced to live every moment of your existence with the person you hate, a person you can’t trust, a person who makes you uncomfortable.

How long will it be before you give up? Before you snap and can’t take it anymore? What will you do?

Complain? Argue? Run away?

To whom? About what? Where to?

Night and day; Day and night. You have to be with this person.

It’s hard, I know.

Now imagine that this person is you.

The person you loth or the person you have trust issues with. The person you find unbelievably ugly or the person who is good for nothing is you.

What would you do? Where would you go?

When you can’t stand the thought of being you.

You will be anxious and you will be depressed. Without any confidence and alone. Without any sanctuary. Running away from the person you are, the person you don’t want to be.

It’s all in your head.” they might conclude.

Yes, that’s true.

But all the same, it’s too real for me.

All too real and All in the head