Finding Heaven

Hello Human, Alien, Cyborg or whatever you identify yourself as.

Usually, I really try (and generally succeed) avoiding getting lost in thoughts about universe, future, afterlife and blah blah because it hurts my brain and makes me cry at times.

Like today, I planned a dozen things but ended up feeling sorry for myself and trying hard not to bawl my eyes out.


I dunno, don’t ask me.

But after binge watching Supernatural the whole day, I decided on writing down my latest conversation with myself so that I can look down at this post later someday  and have a major cringe fest.

(Hi Riya of future. Ssup?)

(Good thing that this blog has like zero views, will save me some embarrassment.)


You still here with me?

Good, moving on.

Yesterday, me and my good friend(?) were having a convo on some random topic and we ended up discussing our ideas on heaven.

This is how our conversation went,

ME: Dude, I’ll be 20 by this year’s end. That sucks. And this is your last year as a teenager.

My Friend (KAL): You’ll be 20-year-old woman*

Better start thinking of babies and shit.

ME: Oh shut it!

KAL: *Whispers* Marriage

ME: hahaha Hey!

KAL: 😥  😥  😥

I don’t wanna be a boring ass adult.

ME: Yeah, I get you. [Me too.]

KAL: Kill yourself and hope to be reincarnated?

ME: Considered that… but i’ll be risking losing memories and people.

And what if we are not reincarnated?

{I am not suicidal, FYI}

KAL: Heaven

For eternity

ME: I prefer earth over heaven

Here, there is no forever and life is much more fun.

KAL: Depends.

Endless books would keep me entertained for quite a while.

{Geek mood turned on. WARNING}

ME: Yeah! I would jump off the train right now if heaven is providing books, unlimited wifi.

Also food. Lots of it.

But it’s sad… I would rather struggle my way through life here. Meeting new people and being with my family.


{No our conversation didn’t end here but the immature talks which followed are not worth putting on the internet.}


The point is, this conversation made me think.

What is my idea of Heaven? What is that I actually want?

I have seen lots of shows and cinema, also read lots of book giving different ideas of what Heaven is like.

Keeping all of it in mind and considering the most common theories, there are few things we can say for sure.

  1. Heaven is for good people.
  2. You will find God there.
  3. You will experience everlasting hapiness.
  4. There is no after Heaven. Not even reincarnation according to popular belief.
  5. You must be dying to get there. Literally.

So that means,

1. I will have to be a good human being.

Help others? Help environment? Pray daily? Visit temple? Die a Virgin? Go the vegan way?

2. I will have to be ready to spend an eternity with the Almighty God.

Who could be anyone of any religion I am or am not aware of or could be ‘All of the Above’ or ‘None of the Above’. But whoever the Wise Creator is, is surely not going to appreciate my attitude towards Her/Him/Them.

3. An eternity of hapiness.

Yay! Really not looking forward to that. Don’t you think it will be like being on drugs or something? Why would I want to be forever Happy when I could experience a range of different emotions here, on Earth. Feeling Love, Sadness, Envy or even Anger is what makes us Human, it is what makes us feel alive. I don’t think I would want a constant reminder that I am dead.

Even if it means Eternal Hapiness.

4. What after Heaven?

One of the reasons why I hate being me right now is because I don’t know what I want to do in future. I don’t know what’s next!

And if being in heaven is going to be more of, being in heaven with no future what-so-ever (unless the Winchesters decide to crash it too) Heaven is going to be my Hell.

5. Death.

I know it’s inevitable. I know I am gonna die some day. But no, I am not psychotic enough to want to die and actually look forward to it just for a one way trip to heaven.

No thank you.


More that I think about this, more am I afraid of death and that’s not good. But bottom line, I would take all the craziness of this world anytime over the serene sanity and eternal bliss of heaven served to me on platter.

I want to live. I wanna struggle my way through it. I wanna feel the pain and sadness and work hard to get happiness. Because happiness is the dish best enjoyed when well earned.

In this past month, I have faced a lot of agony because my body disagreed to function properly. But being able to go through the day without my pain meds is what made me proud of myself. It made me feel strong, responsible for my actions and body and as crazy as it may sound, it made me feel happy.

So what was I talking about?


My heaven is here. On earth.

With all the crazies and evils and stupidity of the world.

With my mama and papa and my tyke brother.

With my friends whose messages I always ignore (sorry)

Living the life I am in process of making (or breaking) for myself.




Got a little heavy, didn’t it?

Please ignore any typos or spelling errors. and if you are a grammar nazi, thanks for stopping by, could you please proof-read this post for me? Thanks!

I am not always this contemplative. Trust me!

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That’s it for today. Hope I didn’t give you existential crisis or anything.

Sorry if I did.


Good day/ night/ ? whatever you call it on your planet.




4 thoughts on “Finding Heaven

  1. Wow, I could not stop reading this once I started…an honest post about a pretty tough topic, I’d say! You make very valid points about loving the “imperfections” in this world, they do, in fact, remind us of being alive and human and all that. Boy, nothing reminds us of our humanity more than illness and pain! Good for you facing some physical pains without masking them – especially if it made you feel proud of yourself for doing so. We can do so many things if we put our minds to it and are not afraid! I did have one thought as I read your post, and that’s why I wanted to comment. Take it or leave it for what it’s worth. If heaven is a “place” where we are eternally happy… and feeling the wide range of emotions and experiences of being “human” is what makes YOU the happiest… then maybe you will be able to feel all those experiences to a fuller, deeper, perfect extent in your heaven? Who knows, but it could be a possibility. My own personal belief is that there is a God and that God loves each one of us. I’ll bet God knows and loves everything about you – probably thinks you are pretty cool, to be honest. I hope your heaven is as cool as your life on earth is and will likely be. (And I hope it isn’t any time soon!)

    Liked by 1 person

    1. I am glad you liked my post. and your take on what heaven could be is very, very interesting! I think if that’s what heaven is, it surely would be a fun place to visit 😀

      Thank you again for reading my post and sharing your view. Your comment gave me a different perspective 🙂

      have a great day!


  2. Riya, i like what you think about heaven. When you believe in yourself and doing the right things which make you and your family proud,at that point of time i think heaven is here only.

    How we live our life and how we help to others its decide about path for heaven or hell.

    Love dear for your lovely thought and keep writing amazing things.


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